Where is my fertility elder?

And Where TF is my research binder?

Is it supposed to just be like this?

You and your partner decide one day to start trying .. and then you just go about having steamy sex and …. then magically one day a baby is supposed to be here?

I’m not sure if I am just conditioned to believe in the struggle, or it’s my perfectionist mind that wants an instruction manual on the “right way to do things” but the casualness of the advice I am seeing… It can’t be so easy… right?

As someone who prides themselves on being a little bit of a know-it-all - I am deeply humbled by how little I actually know on how to prepare myself for joining the community of Trying to Conceive (TTC)?

Now that I am here - I am trying to navigate my way through this - looks like I am already late. I was supposed to be taking supplements for 2-3 months prior to trying to conceive … lol what? I’m not sure about other people but we definitely didn’t plan to start in 2 months… we decided that it would be good to try and then started IMMEDIATELY. (Patience has never been my virtue)

I am a food scientist (and kitchen witchy) and I really believe in the power of nature to collaborate with us through all journeys in life - so here I am asking what I can do support my body as naturally as possible.

Being on the older side of the spectrum of women who can still pull this off (39 1/2 … yes the 1/2 feels important in this situation) I am wondering if the same advice for women who are menstruating is the same for those trying to become mothers.

I already eat a healthy, balanced diet - but it is a bit low in protein (vegetarian), but really all the advice I see when I google this - is so bland. Eat healthy, take folic acid, don’t smoke, don’t drink and reduce stress. Like ok - I see that this is practical but this is emotionally insufficient.

No, just … no. Where is the real advice?

I have so many questions:

• Is my skincare routine safe for trying to have a baby?

• Are there any foods that are getting in the way?

• Is my workout routine a problem? How can I edit it?

Where is my fertility elder with my “You think you want a baby” binder?

I definitely feel like Kevin Hart did when his olympic research binder was missing:

Because I have questions.

A lot of questions.

How do I prepare for something that is both deeply natural and wildly unknowable?

Before we started trying, I assumed there would be a clearer beginning. Some kind of distinct threshold or some kind of ceremony perhaps. Instead, it just drifted into our lives. Maybe because we already did a sterile, medical version with a failed IVF last year, making this shift to the natural a little bit weird.

How do you prepare for a future you cannot plan?

I wish I had all the answers, but not yet. Soon, soon I will feel like I know what I’m doing.